HOW TO KNOW IF YOU SHOULD IMPROVE ON YOUR MARRIAGE

Let’s face it; if you’re looking for advice on marriage, you could spend DAYS researching on the internet without even scratching the surface of all the marriage advice that’s out there.

But the sad fact is, that’s what most people in your situation do…they RESEARCH…but never ACT on the concepts and ideas they learn about because they come up with “excuses” for why THEIR situation is DIFFERENT.

Well let me tell you….your situation is NOT different. And as EXTREME as MY marriage was…my “situation” was NOT different either…

So why am I qualified to give YOU advice on marriage? Because I managed to save my marriage…on my own…after 27 years of fighting, car chases and battles over her way vs. my way.

Our marriage was as bad as it gets.

You see, I married my COMPLETE OPPOSITE. In fact, you’d think we were from different planets if you compared our habits, values, priorities and temperaments… and that’s before you take into account our male/female differences….which brings me to one of the best pieces of advice on marriage that I can give you…

1. LEARN THE “5 LOVE LANGUAGES”

When I discovered this critical bit of advice on marriage, it really opened my eyes as to EXACTLY what made my wife happy. Often times we wish our spouse would treat us a certain way, but we never actually tell them what it is that we want them to do!

Gary Chapman, author of the book, The Five Live Languages, makes it easy for you to communicate what you need from your spouse to feel loved…and what they need from you!

When I found out what made my wife feel loved…I was SHOCKED!

She wanted “acts of service” of all things! I thought that since I liked “words of affirmation”…that she would too!

I hated doing “acts of service” (a.k.a. chores around the house, gardening and repairs) and that’s exactly why I wasn’t meeting her needs! I didn’t realize what I was doing wrong until I read this book.

…which reminds me…here’s another great piece of advice on marriage you need to keep in mind…

Many couples make the BIG mistake of treating their spouse the way they WISH their spouse would treat THEM!

In other words, smothering your spouse in hugs and kisses isn’t going to make him/her want to hug/kiss YOU more if what they actually need from YOU is “acts of service” like taking out the trash or cleaning the house!

If you want to improve your marriage and have your spouse meet your needs, by meeting theirs FIRST, I highly recommend this book. You can find it at:

Now I’ve never seen anyone talk about this last piece of advice on marriage, so pay close attention…

2. YOU CAN’T IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE UNLESS YOU FEEL LIKE IT FIRST

Many people search for the recipe for a happy marriage, in a quest for a simple LIST of things they can go do and then simply “check the items off of their list.”

But unfortunately, that’s not how REAL married life works. I could give you a long list of advice on marriage that would improve your relationship, but that list won’t do you any good. If you’re like most married couples, you won’t act on ANY advice on marriage… until you first feel like doing it FIRST.

Telling you to “go do something” to improve your marriage is NOT going to make a difference in your relationship when you resent your spouse and feel SO negative that you can’t even bring yourself to do it!

The key is actually FEELING LIKE doing something positive for your marriage…and THEN doing it.

Believe me; it’s MUCH easier to do something nice for your spouse when you’re feeling optimistic about your marriage…than it is to “force” yourself to be the first one to take a step towards a better marriage.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “How do I get to the point where I FEEL LIKE doing something to improve my marriage? I’m so frustrated with my spouse right now!”

Well, I’m glad you asked. I offer a FREE mini-course on “How to Overcome Your Negative feelings…the Moment they Appear.” If you’re at all interested, keep reading so you can get started on the mini-course right away…

DO YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES A GOOD MARRIAGE

Is there a universal formula for a good marriage ? well i dont think there is such a formula.

Most people get into a marriage with high and full spirits. They know fully well what they are getting into and accept this with an open heart. While you may say that there is a lot of hype in marriages especially on the days leading up to the wedding day, it can get a bit difficult to maintain this momentum.

There are many sad stories told about marriages dissolving because they had trouble maintaining the lives they had imagined they would have with each other. But everyday can’t be a honeymoon. While there are indeed good marriages, there are also partners who eventually lose the heat.

Without questioning the devotion and love one partner feels for the other and vice versa, a couple may find their marriage at times to be monotonous and in a humdrum.

A good marriage should always be stimulating for both person involved and should make each other to look forward to another day with each other. It should provide a union that doesn’t erase ones individuality.

Good marriages just doesn’t happen, it’s not just about love, devotion and compatibility. Both man and woman should work hard to make a marriage good and keep it that way.

Some tips on a Good Marriage

Be spontaneous and have different interests. It is always good to keep the other guessing. Do not have a predictable marriage that would make the union boring. Have different interests that you could share with your partner.

Be adventurous in the bedroom. Your sex life should be more than satisfactory. Experimenting is not a bad idea. Make your bed room romps something each one always looks forward to. Do not be critical with each other as well in making love. Learn to appreciate and communicate.

And never forget to have fun. Be a child with each other, remember the good times when you were just dating, try to impress one another and don’t take each other for granted.

5 tips to keeping your marriage filled with love and excitement and passion

The buildup to the wedding is so exciting; making arrangements, laying out a plan for your future lives together. But after the honeymoon ends, life begins. And while you may have the most wonderful marriage, even the most devoted couple is certain to find the married lifestyle to be at times, well let’s say, less than exciting. I mean let’s face it, you love the other person, but spending all day with the same individual makes for a lot of routine activities, that if you are not careful can drag on your relationship and make you both feel unsatisfied with what is otherwise a very loving relationship.

As a result, it is vital that couples not simply sit back in the belief that a marriage will remain exciting merely on its own momentum. Rather, it is important that spouses take some basic steps to infuse their relationships with a bit of excitement.

1. Have Independent Interests

You cannot have anything interesting to say if you spend every waking moment doing and experiencing the same things. Having independent interests is not a sign of a weak marriage, as some newlyweds believe, but rather a sign of its strength. Having independent interests means that you have something unique to bring to conversations, ensuring that you both always have something interesting, and yes exciting, to say to one another.

2. Spontaneous Events

While you were dating, planning the spontaneous event seemed rather innate. But, as we grow comfortable in our relationships and more busy by life’s obligations, we have a tendency to rely upon the strength of our relationships and in so doing fail to keep things spontaneous. So to mix things up; plan an afternoon or evening event that is completely new. Try that show your spouse has been dying to see, or visit that new restaurant that just opened up.

3. Never threaten separation

This is less a rule to keep things exciting, and more one to keep them sound. A relationship can only grow and remain exciting if both parties are confident in their commitment to one another. As a consequence, make it a rule between you and your partner that you never threaten separation or divorce. Establish an understanding that if you threaten separation, you should be heading out the door to back it up. It is a harsh rule, but one that needs imposition if your relationship is to survive the ups and downs which are a part of all marriages.

4. Weekend Trips AWAY

One sure-fire way to inject some romance into your marriage is to take a vacation with just the two of you. But with the rigors of life and the costs of a trip, a full-blown vacation can seem hard to justify. So instead opt for a one night local vacation. Plan a dinner and evening out, and cap it off with a night in a hotel. The expense isn’t a lot considering the excitement that a trip, no matter how small, can bring into a relationship.

5. Spice up the bedroom OFTEN

The final tip to bring excitement into any relationship is to spice things up in the bedroom. Your sex life has a strong correlation with the strength and satisfaction of your relationship. So try exploring a new position or even a sexual fantasy or adult toy with your partner, and in so doing share something intimate and bring some excitement into your marriage.

HOW TO DEVELOP SELF MOTIVATION

Motivation can take you far, but it can take you even further if you first find your vision. Your vision will motivate and guide you on your journey to success and personal fullfillment. Trying to succeed at anything without first having a clear vision of what it is you want to accomplish will only lead to you going around in circles and eventually giving up in frustration.

To develop your vision, you must look inside yourself. Vision comes from within, from the spirit or subconscious, whatever you choose to call it. Every one has a vision that is uniquely their own, and you are no different. the hard part comes in understanding your personal vision and how it applies to your personal motivation plan.

Your vision will most likely not come suddenly like some bolt of lightning out of the sky. Instead, it will grow from your experiences, talents, dreams, and desires, so don’t try to rush it. Instead, keep your motivation and allow your vision to reveal itself through you.

Here are five steps you can use to effectively find your vision:

1. Learn to listen to your inner voice. Since your vision starts from inside you, you should learn to listen and feel what your mind and heart truly desire. What stirs you? What is your greatest desire? What kind of dreams do you have? If what you think you want does not really come from the inner depths of your heart and soul, then you will find it difficult, if not impossible, to not give up before you achieve it.

2. Prepare yourself mentally. Your vision begins in your mind and heart. It is something that burns within your soul. it should be greater than your all of your past memories, mistakes, and accomplishments. If you know what your vision is, you will have a purpose and won’t get lost on your journey. Discouragement is the outcome of not having a ditinct vision. If you don’t know where you’re going or how to get there, the journey will seem a lot

longer and harder.

In order to seek your vision, retreat to a quiet and tranquil place, a place that will allow your mind to think creatively and concentrate on your vision.

3. Seek out other motivated vision seekers. Greatness breeds greatness, and it is for this reason that you should seek out the company of others who can appreciate and support your vision. Hang with the winners and it will keep your motivation high.

4. Keep a notebook and pen handy. All too often, when seeking a vision, it is easy to forget that it is 90 percent inspiration, as American inventor Thomas Edison said. With that in mind, you never know when your vision is going to come to fruition, so keep a small notebook with you at all times, even on your nightstand when you sleep, and write down whatever comes to mind, no matter how silly it seems at the time. You may write down a hundred crazy ideas but number one hundred and one just might be the vision you were searching for. Don’t try to edit right now, just write down everything that comes to mind.

5. Don’t try to fully understand your vision. The vision you are seeking will most likely come to you in ways that you won’t fully understand at the moment. That’s okay. Just follow as much of your vision as you can right now, and more will be revealed to you as time goes on.

All truly successful people have a vision that they follow, no matter what challenges they may face, to it’s eventual outcome. Begin following the above steps to seek your vision today and remember that true, lasting success will never come to you until you know what your vision is and how you will follow it. And you will be unstoppable if you combine your personal vision with a healthy dose of motivation.

DIETING FOR TRANSFORMATION AFTER RELATIONSHIP BREAKUP

Dieting is far too often approached from the mindset of impending failure. Too many people have tried and failed so many diets in their past that they try the next new diet with the absolute knowledge that they will fail in this attempt as well. Guess what? They will.

Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can or think you can’t you will always be right.” If you think you are going to fail at this diet you are dooming yourself to failure before you even deprive yourself of the first bite. Think about that before you begin because only a true masochist could find pleasure in perpetuating this vicious cycle without ever stopping to wonder why none of the other diets have worked for you. Henry Ford also said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently”. In case you were wondering I would say his words are quite profound. Seriously though, if you do not examine the reasons for your failures you are certainly dooming yourself to repeat them and if you are already planning to fail why on earth would you even try?

You are the only person who can take control of your need to eat. You are the only one who can pay attention and notice when you are eating for emotional fulfillment and when you are eating from necessity. You and you alone can get yourself out of your chair and on your feet. You are the only one that can take the responsibility for the condition in which you find yourself. There are medical exceptions but even in these situations if you are trying diet after diet and failing over and over again then you must at some point in time realize that it is quite likely not the diets that aren’t working.

We must all be accountable for our successes and failures in life. It is no different when it comes to dieting. There are few better feelings in the world than for someone to notice and compliment your efforts. If you are very obese unfortunately, it may take a little more time for people to actually notice the weight you’ve lost. Too many men and women give up simply because no one noticed and that is an incredible shame. Give your dieting practices an opportunity to work before you decide they are a failure and you just might surprise yourself with a roaring success.

The truth is far too few people hold themselves accountable to their dieting and weight loss goals. This means that far too many people are giving up without really ever bothering to give it an effort. If you have an issue holding yourself accountable to your dieting plans, perhaps you would do well to diet with a partner. This helps you not only set goals but also to meet and exceed challenges along the way. A partner can also benefit from the partnership as he or she will be challenged and feel the need to perform better than if he or she were dieting alone.

You must hold yourself accountable to your stated dieting and weight loss goals in order to achieve any lasting results. If you have not had dieting success in the past, then perhaps it is time to bring some degree of accountability into the picture and make it happen.

YOUR DESIRE ! HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOUR LIFE TRANSFORMATION

Desire is a very strong Key towards your mind power.

You must not only know “what you want”, but you must also “want it hard enough” and be willing to make an effort towards attaining it…

And in order to do this you simply need to create a strong and intense desire towards whatever it is you want to accomplish or attain.

You need to develop a desire so strong it will cause you to use every ounce of your power and energy, toward the accomplishment of your object or goal.

Desire is said to be like a goal-striving energy, a sort of built-in magnet which has the means to pull whatever is needed to you… now this can work two ways for you, both as a “success magnet” or a “failure magnet,” it all depends on how you, the controller, controls it and also the goals you set for it.

Very few people know how to create and hold a strong dedicated desire, they satisfy themselves with simply “wishing” or even a mild “wanting”, and fail to put into action a strong, intense and continuing desire.

If you take a look at the progress of any person, who has accomplished both famous and wonderful things you will find there was, and is a strong and continuing desire for success, within them all…

You see most of the time, people who are successful – only become successful at what they do after trying many, many times and after never giving up!

All great people have the 3 Keys…

1. Know just what they want = (Belief, Enthusiasm )

2. Want it hard enough = ( Desire )

3. Are determined to get it = ( Will )

It is these 3 things only, which separate the men and women who have a strong sense of purpose, determination and desire, from the rest of us who merely “wish for things”

A strong desire can have a tremendous influence on all of your mental faculties, causing them to put all of their power and energies to work for you.

In fact, without desire you would not do much thinking at all, because there would be very little motive to do so… you would also perform no actions, as there would be no reason for such. Desire is the “mover of action” – both mental as well as physical action.

The strength of your work, whether it is mental or physical, will be determined by the amount of desire that you have for the goal, object or end result of such work.

The more you desire a thing… the more you want something, the harder you will work for it, and the easier this work will seem to you.

You see any task you perform under the influence or incentive of a strong desire will seem much easier – than the very same task performed without such influence, incentive or encouragement. Desire and affection are the two main reasons we are influenced or compelled to “do things”

If our desire or affection was somehow absent or missing, then there would be no action – because there would be no motive, reason or cause for such action or to do anything…

So most of the time we act solely because we “want” or “like” to.

Without desire or affection we would be unable to make any choices or decisions – this means we would perform no actions. Now we see that desire is the motive-power behind action.

Take away this motive-power and there will be no activity or movement. Without this “want” and “want to” there would be no “will to do” and this would lead to “not doing” anything.

Everything we do is prompted by desire in some shape or form. It would be impossible for us to remain without desire, and still act in one way or another – or in any way at all.

Desire is the motive-power behind all action; it is the breathing force behind all natural activities, processes and events. We can easily learn how to become masters of our own desire, instead of being mastered by it…

But before we do so, we must first desire to do so – we must desire to start, desire to achieve, and desire to finish what ever it is we want to accomplish in our life

SIX STEPS TO REPROGRAMING YOUR MINDSET AFTER YOUR DIVORCE OR BREAKUP

As individuals we sometimes will get frustrated and even upset with life and especially yourself when big changes such as breakup or divorce happend’s. Changes is life is inevitable ,however are are not always or you could say never really prepared fully for it as no one can really pre-soppose thir feelings in the area of love and emotional energy . A Divorce woman or a woman who as just lost the access to her life partner through a dovorce or break up will never be prepared for such a lost. As this is a change which will reside in a pernamaent lost which will bring much discontentmnet and fustrayed energy .

When this happends in most cases the Divorce woman or heartbroken woman is not going to think firstly how do i get over this feeling .No in most cases she will bury herself so deep in grief that she any loose herself completely if she or someone close to her does not see what this loss and shock is doing to her .

This is where a complete change in mindset or a complete reprogramming of the way in which this loss is interpreted is need. Below i will give you six tips on how any woman can begin to reprogram her mindset after her Divorce .

Let go of the frustration of your Divorce by

Remember Love should never hurt ,if it does then start thinking what love really supposed to be for you

Tip 1-Start by seeing the relationship as ended because that is the way it is supposed to be. This is one chapter of your life which as come to a close.See the good times you had and be grateful, however, also see the obstacles and know that living in such a way was not making you happy.

Tip 2-Stop hating and blaming your now ex-husband for the breakup or divorce, hate and blame will only affect you , it will tour you up inside, it will make you bitter and unattractive to friendship, it will make others run away from you, negative thoughts will only breed negativity. Instead try to see ways how you can recover from your loss, or even better stop seeing it as a loss and instead as an opportunity to start afresh as your ex is now doing.

Tip 3- Start thinking about your life now that you are divorce in a positive way ,how would you like your life to be ,and start listing what you need to do in order to get that life you are now thinking about . No is the time to really give yourself the chance to live a life on your terms .

Tip 4 – Be open with family and friends as much as you can about your feelings it will help you to become confident and build that new pathway in dealing with life without your ex-husband . Maybe you are also now a divorce mom . Link your energy with other divorce parent and start building new friendship ,see how other divorce women or mothers and living in a positive way .

Tip 5 – Get counselling if you need it ,however remember the counsellor is only there to guide and support you ,you will still need to do the work to transform your mindset ,and rebuild your life . Do not become dependent on the counsellor and by that i mean do not develop a negative attachment . Remember you are there to get help ,not just to cry and pass on the blame .

Tip 6 -Remain or get active ,if you were an active person ,hold on to that aspect of yourself it will support you in maintaining a healthy mind and lifestyle ,and a healthy mind is ready to be rehabilitated and reprogram . Excercise will also help you to relieve nad physical and mental stress and again keep you fit and attractive . Its important to feel good about yourself regauardless of what is happeninh or as happening in your life ,its also important to look good as the outer immage is what is presented ,people will see your face your cloths your smile ,they will not see how you are feeling however the outer image can reflect or can hide the way you are feeling so ,choose what you want other to think when they see you by the way you dress and present yourself ,the choice is yours,rememeber you are divorce not dead ,and whiles there is life there is hope for a better life .

Start taking simple steps to becoming happy again or in some cases to find that happy you .

The mind has all the power you need to bring whatever you so desire you just need to let it do its job by choosing your thoughts wisely, your thoughts are what feeds the mind. Keep those thoughts positive.

Still feeling lost and confused after your Divorce -still don’t know where to start making your own path now you are single again

Many can relate to this state of mind ,in such an event ,and many can also relate to getting over this state of mind . If you are dealing with or has gotten over your Divorce loss and confusion ,or still in this state .Please share your story with us ,we love to help you or love to know how you got through your pain. # sharing is caring

How weak a link are you in making relationship decisions

When will you have your light-buld moment ?There’s an important realisation all SMART and LOVING women come to at some point in their love lives.

It’s a “light bulb” that suddenly just turns on… and when it does, you instantly grow and see things with a new sense of CLARITY.

Unfortunately, most women only come to this important realization AFTER they’ve been through the pain and frustration of doing everything they can think of to “revive” their relationship and failing. I’ll tell you what this REALIZATION is:

It’s that when you’re with a man who is feeling or acting UNCERTAIN with you – even if you could give him an “ultimatum” that would move things ahead to the place in your relationship that YOU WANT – you’re in a very dangerous and “weak” position for your relationship. He’s not really making that decision based on what HE wants or feels.

It’s a weak position because you really want and need a man who is truly COMMITTED to being with you on a physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual level. Not coerced, not forced, not convinced. COMMITTED. Totally and with all his being. For you to realise this yourself you need to change your approach

For a deep look inside how men really think and what you need to change with your and approach on love and getting him to transform to a truly loving and committed relationship with a you, and how to help a man recognise and do the things that will make your relationship LAST…join me in a 1 -1 session on lasting love and true commitment ,or just follow this post where i will be giving you all the tips you need to make him recognise all the things he should be doing ..love and light

Be Kind To Yourself

This is important ,we should be all apply self love its very important in growth and self healing .Give yourself a break to relax and recharge,and shouldn’t feel guilty or selfish for looking after number one . No matter what your situation your physical and mental health should always comes first . You are important .

Things to do to keep your self care

1.Excercise

2.Go outside

3.Enjoy some rest

4. Eat well

5.Have a warm soaking bath

6.Create a self care playlist

7.Say no

8.Write an achievable to do list

9.Get creative

10.Learn something new

Where Genres Collide Traci Kenworth YA Author

Faith, friendship, and love conquer all. Unless. Let's not forget how messy the world is.

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Re-programming, Women's Lives through the use of NLP and Life Transformation Coaching .Focusing on Empowering Divorce Women to Find there NEW PATHWAY in Life .To Recovery and Rebirth there lives in all Three areas Mind ,Body and Spirit . Guiding and Coaching Women in developing or finding new Career Path , and New Relationships

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